I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize