What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize