I'm going to jail i love you
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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