you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
