i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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