he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize