tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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