he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
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He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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