where am i from again
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize