apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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