I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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