i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize