Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize