When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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