And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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