why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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