great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
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Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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