There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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