will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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