I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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