Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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