I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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