watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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