you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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