Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize