that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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