His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i came on her dog
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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