you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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