3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize