Just fell off a train. Bad.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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