If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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