You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize