i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
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He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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