I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize