i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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