I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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