I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
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And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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