I just saw a hot homeless man
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize