things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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