sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
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My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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