I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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