you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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