I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize