After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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