Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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