VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He did a backflip because drugs
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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