I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize