Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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