No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize