I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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